Telling his Parents – A Rundown of the Last Week

02/06/10
We sent off the email to his parents to tell them about Max’s transition. We have done it this way for a couple of reasons. Firstly they live overseas, and secondly we do not want to deal with their initial reaction. They actually called later that night. We did not answer the phone but let it go to message bank as we were not sure about their initial reaction (and we did predict a bad one). We listened to the message that his Dad left and we were both so shocked. His Dad said that they had received the email and that his Mum is too upset to talk. He stated that they had three ways in which they could react to the news. He could 1) reject the news and reject his daughter, 2) embrace it or 3) accept it. He stated that he is by no means close to embracing it, but that they will try very hard to accept it. He went on to say that he loves his daughter. We thought it a very positive response, especially since we were waiting for a negative one.

04/06/10
Max’s parents reported that they are not ready to speak to him yet, but will be in contact via emails. They are seeing Max’s brother on the weekend, so it will give them a chance to talk to them about it and give support to each other.

09/06/10
Max has still not spoken to them and he is getting a little worried. Max got messages on Facebook from his cousin and aunty wishing him well and giving their support. Max was quite shocked, as his parents have not spoken to him about it yet, but have spoken to extend family about it. I did think it was a bit weird too, however looking at it from an outsider’s perspective; they are probably testing the language and people’s reaction before they speak to Max. I think this is good, as I think they don’t want to say or behave the wrong way.

10/06/10
Max received his first contact from his Mum (via email) today (she is still not ready to talk), which was a huge relief for him as he had not heard from her since he sent the email the Wednesday last week. His Mum’s email was very insightful, in which she reported that she is upset and doesn’t know why (probably grief). Also, she stated that she understands what [Max] has had to put up with during [his] life and why [he] is going down this path. Max also earlier in the week sent them some articles to read that we got from his psychologist, so hopefully that will help and we can start some dialogue soon when they are both ready to talk. Overall, I think it has been a positive initial response however we have to be aware that there will probably be bumps in the road.