Expanding boundaries of attraction

I have noticed a strange phenomenon. I’m starting to look at guys now. I am paying attention to how they dress, if I would consider them attractive or not, the size of their arms, facial hair and so on. This is really unusual for me as in the past I had a total blind spot for men. I could spot a Butch a mile away, but would not be able to tell you what the man standing next to me was wearing. Because I am a psychologist I had an idea about why this is happening. I don't think this has to do with my sexual attraction changing, I think that it has to do with social comparison theory. Social comparison theory is the idea that there is a drive within individuals to look to outside images in order to evaluate our own opinions and abilities. These images may be a reference to physical reality or in comparison to other people. Thus, we humans have the tendency to compare ourselves to others. For example, is she smarted than me? Am I fitter than her? We also do this with our relationships and partners. We compare so we know where we sit in society. So previously before Max started transitioning I would compare him to the other Butches, and know that (by social comparison) my Butch was handsome and sexy. However, now that he is 6 months into his transition and passes as male. I now compare him to men to see where he sits; how he dresses, how attractive he is, the size of his arms. I think he is a very handsome and sexy man, when I look at other men.

Additionally, I think another psychological theory could explain my “expanding boundaries of attraction” and that is cognitive dissonance. When people experience cognitive dissonance, which is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding simultaneously conflicting ideas, thoughts and/or beliefs, they are motivated to change their thoughts, beliefs and ideas to reduce the uncomfortable feelings. For example, you might have a belief that you dislike a certain vegetable, however at a friend’s house you unknowingly eat the vegetable and enjoy it. When you find out you have eaten and enjoyed the vegetable, and understand that this does not fit with your belief on disliking that vegetable. You, therefore change your belief to, I don't dislike that vegetable when it is cooked/prepared etc. in a certain way. For my experience, I had the belief that I did not find men attractive, however now that I am with a man, to reduce my cognitive dissonance, I need to change my belief. I don’t think I have fully formed it yet, but I think my thoughts and beliefs are in line with what is my main attraction to Max, which is that I am attracted to his strength and security, thus I find these characteristics attractive in men. When I was talking to my psychologist about this the other day, he noted that when I describe what I am attracted to they are characteristics rather than as physical attributes. I guess I will just watch and see how this evolves.