9 months on T

It’s just over 9 months since Max has been on T. He passes all the time and is so much happier. The changes on T are gradual, especially when you see the person every day, as I do. We have been documenting the changes using photos, measurements (arms, waist, legs, butt etc.) voice, hairiness and mood. I have complied all of these into a PowerPoint presentation, and the other day I went back to the start and realised how much he has changed. His shoulders are considerably larger, as are all his muscles (he loves his muscles), fat redistribution is also another major change. When I hug him he feels harder. His jaw line is more prominent, his skin appears rougher, he shaves a few times a week (but admits he should shave every two days). Kissing him on days he has not shaved I can feel the stubble, though it is not as visible as it is going to get. I have to say I really don't have experience kissing people with stubble, because the last time I had a boyfriend was back in high school and he didn’t even have facial hair yet. This is something else to get use to, but I am doing well with coping with the changes. I have adjusted to his lower voice now, and recognise it on the phone, though it is funny when I hear his voice message (recorded 4 months ago) is higher.

Overall I have to admit I am doing really well with the changes. Mostly when he points out another change, for example, more hair on his belly, I always have a bit of a giggle. Watching Max become more confident, more social and so much happier makes it very easy to deal with the changes. Next week we are flying to Brisbane to see a surgeon for a consult for top surgery. Max can’t wait to get his ‘chesticles’ off. I realised that his surgery will bring a big change suddenly as opposed to the gradual changes with T. Oh well, it will be such a relief for Max to have top surgery; no more binding, no more wearing t-shirts during sex, no more avoiding looking in mirrors topless. Top surgery should be some time in April, and Max is counting down.

5 month on T and family update

Time for an update on T changes and family, I think, well Max’s family has really been quiet slow to establish a clear and open dialogue. I know it is a lot to get use to but, the T won’t wait for any body. Max has spoken to his Mum twice since the phone call in June, and he has not spoken to his Dad at all. His Mum states that his Dad is still too upset to talk about it. At least the conversations with his Mum are going well, last time she was asking questions and listening to the answers (which is not like her, as she can be absorbed with her own life). We have also not seen his brother for awhile. They (his brother and his brother’s wife) told us that they were fine with it and that they will tell the kids soon, but nothing has eventuated. I am not sure if they understand how fast the changes T can make. I hope that when we see the niece and nephew that they are not too shocked. They are young and I am sure will roll with the changes fine.

Five months today Max started T. I have noticed quite a few changes. His voice is a lot lower, his face has changed shape (his cheeks are bigger as is his chin, also the skin is not as smooth), his has a lot more hair, more muscles and strength, he is broader in the shoulders and there has been a lot of changes in weight distribution. There have also been psychological and emotional changes too. Emotionally he reports that he cannot cry like he use to, even if he wishes he just cannot. He also stated that his empathic response has changed too. He doesn’t want to sit around and “chit chat” anymore, he wants to “get out and do things”. Psychologically he has been so much happier, his confidence has increased, and he has more energy and is enjoying life. He is still stressed from time to time about his family coping with his transition but that is normal.

I notice that I have not written anything about his work situation. I will have to do that in the future.

Update on brother and physical changes

We went to the nephew's 11th birthday party yesterday (David and Susan's son), Max reported beforehand that he was a little nervous about going. He was worried about being introduced as Jennifer and as David's sister. We have not actually seen David since we told them (Max did see Susan last week and that went well). The party was at on of those laser gun tag things (and we had a great time shooting kids!). Since the party was at this kind of place there were no parents, so no introduction occurred which was great. However the best thing was that David and Susan were just normal. Nothing was mentioned and no one acted weird. We are happy with this outcome. We know that when the changes are more obvious things might change a bit, but the more David and Susan act normal the better we think things will go.

So an update on the changes, I think I should mention. It has been 6 weeks since Max started T. The main changes include muscle growth and fat redistribution (we have been taking fortnightly measurements), acne (Max has to use Proactive twice a day to keep on top of it, and he says his face still hurts), facial hair (minor but noticeable to touch around the side burn area), voice (a bit up and down, but not too noticeable yet), moodiness. The moodiness has been quite hard to deal with at times. Last weekend was the worst that we had gone through, but we did get though it fine. We just have to keep communicating to each other and allow the moods to come and go, because you cannot control them. Overall, Max is really enjoying the changes.

Overview of the last two weeks

It will be Max's second T shot tomorrow, so I thought I would write a post about the last two weeks. The effects of T have been mild, as it was only the first shot, but they will still noticable. The effects that we notice were; increased sweating, higher body temperature, some pimples, oilier skin, some fat re-distribution, increased strength and muscle growth (I notive when I hug him he feels harder, which I actually fine quite pleasant!), increased energy, increased sex drive, happier mood (but with some moodiness that resulted in some tears) and some voice changes with a sore throat. As it draws nearer to the second shot (one every 2 weeks), Max reported that he could feel some of the effects wearing off. His voice was back to before T, as was his energy levels and sex drive. The other thing I should note it that, some of the changes may not be directly linked to the T, but the decrease of his low mood could be making an impact. Either way I have been so relieved that he is feeling happier about himself.

Also during the last two weeks, we have both been coming out to a lot more people. The great thing is that we have had not one negative response, overtly or covertly. I am so grateful for the wonderful friends we have. They are our chosen family. We predict, however, that there will be a few negative reponses. One being his family and another friend of Max's who has strong feelings about transitiong. It is such a shame that people can have a hard time with this. I understand that people might not understand transitioning, but there is no need to take it personally or get angry about it. If you know Max, you should not be really surprise about this news. Actually, when we have told people no one has been surprise, and we have had comments such as "I thought that might be on the cards" and "I am not surprised".

The hardest thing for us to have coped with this last two weeks would be gearing up for Max to tell his parents. I guess you just never know how people will react and that causes anxiety. As I said before, there has been some moodiness and it may have to do with the T, but I also feel that the stress of telling this parents have contributed to it.

Thanks to everyone for the love and support.