My partner told me

27/01/2010

I'm off to the local shopping centre to do some errands while Jen is at work. I have to get some yoghurt, think if we need any ingredients for dinner (we're having Thai tonight) and pick up her jacket from the alteration place. Jen always buys her clothes in the men's department. I have never known her to wear or purchase any female clothing (including underwear). Two days earler, we were at the shopping centre as I needed one of those super Chinese massages. Jen decided to buy some clothes from the major department store. I always thought she had a good dress style, and I still remember exactly what she wore on our first date nearly two years ago. I also remember the thought "How sexy, a real Butch!"

She had decided on a black casual jacket, however, as always the sleeves are too long. So the next stop was the clothing alteration place. The shop assistant when asking for contact details, did not pick up the fact that Jen was a butch woman. The shop assistant wrote Jed on the ticket. So here I was two days later with a ticket stub for Jed and I was in the chocolate shop next door. I spied a chocolate bar called a 'Yorkie', with the line "Not for girls". I just thought of Jen immediately. She is not a girl; I have never really thought of her as a girl. So therefore the chocolate bar is for her, and I bought it.

Later that night, I gave the bar to Jen. She thought it a hoot. She has always been Butch to me. Butch as in the noun, as in the gender. She said to me an hour or so later. I am thinking of transitioning. I was not surprised, but I could feel a little anxiety in me. We had a little joke about the bar, but we didn't talk too much about it. I gave her my support to explore this with her. The only decision that we made was to talk to her GP and find a psychologist that specialises in it.

We found it hard to find a psychologist that has good experience and a reputation in helping couples make this decision. I remember that last year I was invited (by Aaron - a transguy friend) to attend a workshop at the Zoe Belle Gender Centre for partners of gender variant people. The psychologist was Vikki Sinnott. Last year in August, and I guess this is the researcher in me, I googled her name. I found a peper she wrote for the DHS entitled "Best practice models for the assessment, treatment and care or transgender people and people with transsexualism: A discussion paper for Victoria (Australia)". I downloaded the paper and keep it. I gave Jen the psychologist's name.