Visit from Max’s mother

Two weekends ago (11th of September) Max’s mother was down from Singapore and we had arranged for her to stop at our place to go out to a cafe for breakfast before she drives down to the farm (4 hours away). Max’s mother, Lucy, was suppose to arrive at our house from Max’s brother house between 8 am and 8:30, however she did not arrived until 9am (not even a text message). This waiting caused great anxiety among Max and I, particularly thinking that she will not come at all. We know that she is still coming to term with the news (and that Donald, Max’s father, is not coping at all), and we were just not sure how she was feeling about coming to see Max, as it is different from just talking on the phone. Once she arrived we felt better, but still a little anxious.
We decided that she can choose for me to come to breakfast or not, in case she wishes to speak to Max on his own. Lucy stated that she has no issues and it is fine for me to come. I do have a very good history with her and we get along well which is a positive, especially at this time. Once we did the initial hellos, Lucy reported that Max doesn't appear to have changed that much, which we were quiet surprised from this comment. It has nearly been 6 months that Max has been on T and there have been heaps of changes and he passes all the time. I guess, especially being a parent, you see what you want to see. Additionally, of course Max still looks like Max, and if Lucy had an image in her head that he would look like a stranger then she would report that he doesn't appear different. I guess it will take time for her to see her daughter as a son. In Singapore, Lucy went to her GP to ask about the effects of testosterone, and the only think the doctor said was facial hair, so she might have had an image of her daughter with a beard, which is just not appropriate for the doctor to have said. There are many more changes, and growing facial hair is one of the last ones to appear (sometime years).
The breakfast went really well. The conversation was familiar and normal, which was a relief for Max. The only goal he had for today was to ask his mum to use his new name. About half way through breakfast Max asked his mum if she could try and use his new name. She stated that she will find it really difficult as “you’re my daughter and always will be”. Max reported that as his changes become more pronounced, it will appear silly to be referring to him with a female name. Lucy clearly thought about this comment, and replied that she will try. Max was over the moon. Also at this time, the waiter was clearly using male references to Max, which was great for his mum to see. She stated that she may get it wrong it the future, or forget to use his new name. However we replied that it is fine, as it is the effort that counts. Overall, we were both really happy with this outcome and the ease his mother had with talking to him. This was a big hurdle to get over and both parties survived.