Anthropologist on Venus – Explorations into the Straight World

It is strange that people treat you differently depending on who you sleep with. For example, when I was doing my doctorate I was an out lesbian (as I have always been) and I was not invited to hen’s nights or baby showers. All the other girls in the doctorate were invited and the gay guy. I remember that my feelings were really hurt, why does sleeping with women preclude me from wanting to celebrate friends’ milestones? These were overt discriminations that were made on false assumptions. Since Max’s transition, we are now seen to be straight (in our jobs, for example) and I notice that I have been treated very differently. For instance, I am automatically include in discussions about wedding planning, raising children and dealing with men who has “man flu”. I feel much more included which is lovely, but at the same time I worry that queers are not treated this way yet in our society.

I am enjoying this exploration in the straight world, I like being included (who wouldn’t), and I take pleasure in observing this new world. However, while exploring this new world, I have a concern that happens from time to time. I feel that I have to play a role or act a certain way, (and I am not sure what it is) and if I do it wrong I will get caught out. I think though, this has more to with my own insecurities of exploring and being included in this new world, than about people analysing my every move in hopes of catching the queers.

151 days to surgery.

Surgery is booked

Max has booked his top surgery for 22nd of March 2012. He is thrilled. I am happy and anxious at the same time. It will be such a relief once it is over. I am anxious at the fact that it is major surgery and that I will be caring for him in another state, without my social support network. However, I am happy that soon Max will feel a whole lot more comfortable in his body. Also, I am looking forward to being able to touch his back – bare skin, instead of through a binder. I believe that Max is looking forward to throwing away binders forever. It must be horrible to wear binders all the time, especially during summer. Lately, Max has been complaining about how hot he is (temperature, not sex appeal), and we have only just hit spring with no hot days over 27oC yet. The testosterone has raised his core body temperature, so we are bracing ourselves for a horrible summer in binders. I guess I should say Max, instead of ‘we’, but I include me, as I will be hearing all about it. At least, we can console ourselves with the fact that this will be the last summer of binding.
Only 156 days to go.