Our Peeps

I currently feel more sense of a supportive community than I have ever before, and it is a lovely feeling. During my lesbian years I never felt totally connected and supported by the lesbian community. There have been many instances in the past where my sexuality with my appearance has been questioned (“You don’t look like a lesbian”), my dress and my sexuality (“Why do you were skirts?” and “How are we suppose to know you are a lesbian?”), my understanding of LGB culture (“Do you know what your rainbow necklace means?”), and my attendance to lesbian events (“This is a lesbian event, do you know?”) have all been questioned. This has gone on for over a decade. In the general lesbian community in Melbourne, Australia, lesbians showing femme characteristics are looked down upon.

Over three years ago, I was invited to social drinks run by ButchFemmeTrans Melbourne. I now help run this group with two other wonderful people. This group meets up monthly and I look forward to everyone. It is a lovely group of superb people, who totally understand my gender and sexuality, like I do theirs. I have made some wonderful friends. Also this group has been one of the things that continues, unchanging, since Max’s transition.

A few months back there was a special party night for Femmes. It felt wonderful to be celebrated! No one picking on me for wearing a dress to a queer event, no one questioning my sexuality or gender expression, everyone letting me be and celebrating what and who I am.

Also I have met many people in the sex and gender diverse (SGD) community and groups too, that have been very welcoming, giving Max and myself a wonderful sense of belonging. Recently I have started a small social group for partners of trans*. It has only met up twice but already I feel supported and lucky to have such amazing people to be friends with.

I had a dream ...

A few nights back I had a dream in which Max was post top surgery. The dream was not about Max having surgery, it just happened to have Max in it post surgery. I don’t actually remember what the focus of the dream was, or even if it had a theme or topic (you know what dreams a like). However what I remember is that Max and I were chatting outside in the sun. Max was smiling and shirtless. In the dream, my eyes quickly flickered over his chest scars that were faded, and I noticed that I had a clear sense of how normal this all was. Max being outside, shirtless with his male chest, how this was always meant to be.

After waking from the dream, Max’s post surgery chest felt familiar instead of strange. I noticed that I felt a fundamental change towards total comfort and that I was not so worried about the unknown, as it no longer felt unknown. This dream really let me become familiar with Max’s new chest, before the surgery has even happened. I believe that I was worried about the significant change that top surgery will bring so suddenly, as opposed to the slow changes of T. I really enjoyed this dream and the impact it has on me about feeling more at ease with his top surgery.