Our Peeps

I currently feel more sense of a supportive community than I have ever before, and it is a lovely feeling. During my lesbian years I never felt totally connected and supported by the lesbian community. There have been many instances in the past where my sexuality with my appearance has been questioned (“You don’t look like a lesbian”), my dress and my sexuality (“Why do you were skirts?” and “How are we suppose to know you are a lesbian?”), my understanding of LGB culture (“Do you know what your rainbow necklace means?”), and my attendance to lesbian events (“This is a lesbian event, do you know?”) have all been questioned. This has gone on for over a decade. In the general lesbian community in Melbourne, Australia, lesbians showing femme characteristics are looked down upon.

Over three years ago, I was invited to social drinks run by ButchFemmeTrans Melbourne. I now help run this group with two other wonderful people. This group meets up monthly and I look forward to everyone. It is a lovely group of superb people, who totally understand my gender and sexuality, like I do theirs. I have made some wonderful friends. Also this group has been one of the things that continues, unchanging, since Max’s transition.

A few months back there was a special party night for Femmes. It felt wonderful to be celebrated! No one picking on me for wearing a dress to a queer event, no one questioning my sexuality or gender expression, everyone letting me be and celebrating what and who I am.

Also I have met many people in the sex and gender diverse (SGD) community and groups too, that have been very welcoming, giving Max and myself a wonderful sense of belonging. Recently I have started a small social group for partners of trans*. It has only met up twice but already I feel supported and lucky to have such amazing people to be friends with.

Meeting the Community

Max has been quite a bit down on himself about being trans. I think there are two main reasons behind this; 1) we know some transguys that are not the prefect role models, and 2) he feels that his parents will have a really hard time with accepting his transexualism and he has projected this onto himself. I felt that I really had to help introduce him to some really normal, down to earth, positive role model transguys to help him feel better about himself.
When I joined a Gender Centre working group, I met some really awesome transguys. I set up for Max to meet Xander and for me to meet Xander's partner Tara. I, myself are really keen to befriend partner's of transguys. We meet up with Xander and Tara, and had a lovely chat getting to know each other. They mentioned that the next night there was a party to raise money for another guy's chest surgery. We went along and met some more wonderful people. I believe it was a really good experience for Max, as he was able to realise there is nothing weird about being trans. We meet lawyers, teachers, community workers, postgraduate university students. Furthermore, they were in steady relationships (and I thought all the partners were wonderful and interesting people, that I would like to get to know more). They were just a normal bunch of people have a wonderful night. Max reported that the last two nights were a really positive experience for him and will help him deal with his transexualism.